In this moment I'm learning about honesty and I truly believe that by sharing what I learn, I learn even more.
So far, what I have experienced in my own personal growth is that being honest is not only saying what you think to others (in a respectful way of course) but it also means that being honest with yourself and trying to bring the monsters that live within your mind out from the bottom of it.
We all have a part of ourselves we are not proud of and we want to hide it because it is too scary and shameful. We are afraid of showing this ugliness and be judged or rejected, because deep inside we think we are such an ugly creature that no one will ever love us if they see us like this.
This is why we feel safe hiding our monsters and showing only our "nice side" to keep a good image. Doing this is normal, we all do it and we'll keep doing it. But there will always be uncomfortable situations that will trigger these monsters. That's not a tragedy, not if you take it as an opportunity for growth. Yes, it sucks, I know, but the learnings you will gain from it are invaluable.
It is sane and sometimes necessary to go deeper and see our monsters, our worst nightmares and our most ugly side where hatred lives, where anger is waiting and fear rules. This we should not do it by ourselves. And I will say this again: we should not go there by ourselves. It is too scary and it will leave us weak and vulnerable. We need accompaniment and tools to deal with it. Fortunately there are hundreds of psychotherapies that are reliable and safe, where you and your therapist can look together into your mind and apply the best tools to overcome your conflicts and know yourself better. There are many kinds of therapies that can adapt to your personality. Just be honest with yourself and if you feel dealing with those monsters isn't easy, then find professional help. It is always an opportunity for growth.